The world wide web needs another Moms’ Blog, right? A superwoman who boasts about feeding her children only things that are grown in her backyard’s organic soil. You didn’t think you’d get past the second sentence of a mom’s blog without reading the word “organic,” did you?
I’ve been reading articles for moms, by moms, for a little over six years now. Once I get to the end, I realize that there was something in the post that just didn’t resonate well with me. For example, the “why I didn’t send my child to kindergarden at age (‘fill in the blank’) thousand-word summaries that come across newsfeeds every year. I get it – some children are ready, in one form or another, to start Kindergarten and some are not. But, do we have to join a club or hit a like to make friends who feel whichever way we do, in an effort to validate these excruciatingly difficult decisions we are faced with, all of us, as parents? I mean, we are only making decisions for our children that could impact them for a lifetime, right?
While it’s interesting to get a variety of personal perspectives on common parenting concerns and choices, I think too much information can leave us feeling lonely (“well, obviously I’m not going to fit in with the organic dirt eating children’s moms”). We read these things, information from people all over the world who haven’t any more of a clue than we do on a subject they’ve maybe put a lot of thought into, but not a lot of research into (unless you consider Facebook posts research and sometimes I do!). And, nowadays, platforms for opinions are being handed out like peanuts on an airplane. So, through the grapevine of sharing and reposting, it looks like these wonder-moms come in droves and all attended the same parenting conference for which the rest of us missed the memo.
Until finally, at this very blog spot, the lonely mom fits in for once. Where she doesn’t fit in. Just like in the 1964 film, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and the misfit toys!
This is a blog for the mom who’s not from here. For the mom who doesn’t work and for the mom who doesn’t stay-at-home. For the mom who doesn’t homeschool, private school, public school, or unschool. For the mom who’s alone at the park. For the mom who’s kids have bit into a cheeto or chewed up an M&M, food-dye and all (even if it was at a birthday party and you didn’t know ’til after, you’re safe here). For the mom who goes through her social media newsfeeds, realizing that the invitation to that birthday party or baby shower (oh wait, there was no invitation – ouch!)… It’s for the mom who struggles with sleep at 2 a.m., not because you didn’t follow the “why you should (or was it shouldn’t) let your kid cry-it-out” post but because your worried that maybe you’re not doing some of this “right.”
But, what is “right” anyway? My suspicion is that nobody knows…none of us have been doing this long enough to be experts and there’s no PhD in Mothering. We do the best we can with what we know at the time and sometimes we find a like-minded friend or friends who can support us along the way. And sometimes we don’t.
Nonetheless, one thing is for sure – you’re never alone when you’re child is snuggling with you, or in front of you swinging at the park. You’re never alone when you’re building a tower as tall as you can, or wrapping wooden train tracks around couch legs and coffee tables.
We are all as alone as we want to be. But, when we have a small child, we always have a friend. Someone who loves us. Someone who wants to hang-out. Someone who thinks we are doing things utterly and completely right, especially when we’re with them.